Exotic Stranger (Asplundia 'Jungle Drum')

(The plant in this post was originally identified as Carludovica 'Jungle Drum,' because that's how they're typically identified, if they're identified at all, so if you've arrived from a link or Google search about Carludovica, you're probably still in the right place. However, I think it's much more likely that the plant in question is actually an Asplundia, and refer to it as such. This doesn't

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